The time has arrived

Well, I knew this day would come eventually, and it finally did. I got my first pair of glasses today. That's right -- I am officially old.

I mean, I know the "oldness" has been growing stronger and stronger over the years. It's been the little things, you know? Like, the fact that I'm writing this on a Friday night while watching a Criminal Minds marathon, and there is literally nowhere else I'd rather be. Not like the old days -- not when a Friday night invariably meant drinking, dancing, and staying up until dawn. Now? I'm actually happier with these low key nights. I've really become something of a homebody. Strike against youth #1.

I also HATE going to the mall now. That is literally all I did in high school -- I mean, that was the place to be on a Friday night! Granted, there's really not much else you can do in high school -- especially a private Cristian one where no one throws parties and no one drinks. Really, what are your social options? Movie theaters and the mall. But the thing is? I actually liked it. LOVED the mall, in fact. Now I avoid it at all costs. Pretty much the only time I can be coerced into mall-going is if the Apple store is involved. And even then it's an in-and-out. None of this wandering around and window shopping nonsense. That just sounds like bloody torture to me now. Strike against youth #2.

But I guess the first time I really realized I was getting old was several years ago ... when I was in a mall, ironically. I was leaving said mall (again, trying to get out quickly) when three girls -- all probably 15 or 16 -- walked by me wearing nothing. I mean, tank tops that were basically painted on paired with those Abercrombie jean skirts that are so short they literally show your ass off to the world. And you know what I thought? "I can't believe their mothers let them out in that!" Yep. That thing that I never thought I'd say. Definitely moving into old world. Strike against youth #3.

Okay, so the "three strikes you're out" thing isn't quite right for this post ... because I'm not done yet. Not to bore you, but I've also gotten to the point where birthdays depress me. Seriously, I had a quarter-life crisis when I turned 25 and went into a minor depression when I turned 26. 26 was especially hard because it was the year I was going to get married -- well, according to my life plan that I made when I was 11. As you can imagine, it was a bit disappointing to enter my 26th year without so much as a prospect of a husband. Totally not getting married this year. Strike #4.

Let's see, what else? Oh, my sleep schedule has also changed. Now I'd rather get in bed and be asleep by 10 than stay up late and wake up at 10. Strike #5.

I like entertaining now. Again, I'd rather have people come over and have movie night than go out painting the town red. And this includes me cooking! No, I'm still not one of those girls who just bakes for fun or something, but I do derive some pleasure from making things all pretty and fixin' some appetizers for my friends. Strike #6.

Alright, this list could go on and on I guess. But I'll stop at strike #7 -- lucky #7 -- getting glasses.

I know, I know! Most people aready have glasses by this point in time, but I'd always prided myself on having 20/20 vision. It was something I could brag about. I always loved to try on my friends' glasses and then tell everyone how distorted the world looked when I wore them. That all started to change a few months ago when I tried on a couple pair ... and there was no vertigo. I could actually see things better. Definitely not a good sign.

So. I finally bit the bullet this week and went to the eye doctor for the first time in about ... ohhhh, I'd say 20 years. And the verdict? Nearsighted. That's right, folks. I'm officially nearsighted. And old.

Anyway, long story ... well, kind of long I guess ... I got my first pair of glasses today. Two pair actually. One regular pair and then some sunglasses (you know, so I can see the road signs and all). The sunglasses won't be ready until Thursday, but I got the others -- Kate Spade no less! -- today*. I have to say, I kind of like them. It's a definite adjustment, but I'm gonna say they add a little something to my look. I appear more ... intelligent perhaps? Or maybe that's just something I'm telling myself to distract from the fact that my eyes are now too old to function properly on their own.

Oh well. It's time to face the facts. The time's arrived, friends. Anna is officially old.

* Pictures to follow. I have my fat, swollen steroid face right now, so I'm avoiding cameras. I'll share my new look with all once the moon face has deflated a bit.